I can happily say that I am writing this from my beautiful home and sighing with great relief. Here is my view…well from the end of the street!
The recital went very well. I love Armen. I love Chad Smith (aka Chadder), I love Maryl Fleisher. It is amazing how someone can feel at home when they are not even there. There are very few orchestras who really go that extra mile and make an artist feel completely taken care of and the LA Phil is definitely one of them. (is that enough of a love shout out???)
I love recitals. I love them I love them I love them. The medium of a recital is my favorite way to communicate. Probably why I am primarily a concert artist. There is a direct connection with the audience is unlike anything I have experienced in the opera realm. Too bad they are few and far between. I would love to just do recitals!!!
Now I’m on vocal rest. I’m going to try to be completely quiet for two days. Well except when I go to the gym and say “I’d like to unfreeze my account” but that is definitely something that is necessary! Once I could have a carb I certainly did!
I was quiet for 60 hours….not a small feat for a talky talky girl like me! It was surprisingly liberating. People are very considerate when they find out you are a mute. I might try this more often and my voice feels rested for the first time in a while.
Its amazing how being at home can be more stressful than being on the road. Now is when I get stuff done. You know like my real life stuff. Not like when I’m sitting in a hotel room watching Season 1 of Mad Men like I only have one day to do it. (which reminds me I have to download the next two seasons for the trip!) I run errands, pay bills, go through mail, do laundry, pick up dry cleaning…I’m like a chicken with my head cut off! Sometimes being on the road is more relaxing. Then I just ignore any responsibilities I have except for singing…Maybe I do that too often! Only having 4 days here, I’m just getting the bare minimum done. Quicken isn’t happening…I haven’t even opened all the mail….But I got an array of leggings (including jeggings…I’ve crossed over!) which was definitely the most important thing on the list 
Well for now it was.
I have one more day so there will be packing. If it was an Olympic sport I would definitely medal. I can pack more in there than you think humanly possible. And it will fit….Oh yes it will. I have two gowns this trip hence my justification for two suitcases. Lets face it, I make my home on the road so when I am going to 6 countries in a little over 2 weeks I’m going to bring my almond milk and gluten-free pretzels and that’s just how it is. I probably will have a suitcase full of food! Wish me luck. I’ll get it all done…Somehow I always make it on time to the airport…
It is done! Well almost! I’m off to Palm Springs for one more Jeremiah before the big European tour. And I’m telling you I will need 4 days off (First I have a splendid recital for patrons at Disney Hall with the formidable Armen Guzelimian…but that’s tomorrow…)
What a surreal couple of days this has been. Sunday was unlike anything I have ever experienced. With all of the “out of the ordinary” events, like 20 cameras, hair and makeup people, Vanessa Williams, rehearsing lines, it felt good to finally get to the stage and make some music. That is what I do. But I think embracing what WILL be a new medium for the orchestra is the right road to take. We have to go where we are being lead and it is definitely in that direction. How great for an audience to get to know Gustavo before seeing his charismatic presence on stage. We all know he’s a passionate conductor. We can see it. But he also knows his stuff. He doesn’t just go out and put on a show. He could spend hours talking about Bernstein or Beethoven or even these single pieces. He doesn’t do anything halfway. And the joy that he takes in every aspect of his job is what the audience needs to see. This is a humble man. It is about the music…bottom line…and that is the truth…..I know it is so.
I am much relieved that I didn’t fall down (some seriously high heels were worn), my dress stayed in place, I didn’t space out or freak out!! Luckily, the cameras were no where to be seen once we were on stage. It was literally a concert that they happened to catch on video. I am very thankful for that.
As we speak I am listening to the ITunes edit (it should be released this week!!) and it sounds GREAT! It is amazing what producers can do! They have really captured my passion as well as Gustavo’s (I can hear him breathing and making noises before entrances) and the orchestra sounds stellar. Listening to yourself is quite a task. Probably one of the hardest that a musician will face. “Is that how it sounded? Is that how I sound?” It never ceases to amaze me that I sound like that. It sounds completely different in my head….but we can’t listen to that…we have to go by FEELING! And we are our harshest critics. I’m telling you. I would love to go to Disney right now and re-record a couple of things….but I have to let go. Its good….Its really good…..Its darn good. I’m picking…I want perfection but that is not human. Emotion is. And that is what is there…raw human feeling. I gave it all I could from my heart and that is all I can ever do.
I simply can’t! 3 down and the big circus tomorrow. What an amazing couple of days. I have had some truly memorable moments these past two days and most of them included speaking not singing!
We had a wonderful Q and A after our Casual Friday concert. Now I’m not used to doing talkbacks. I normally don’t do them because I’m saving my voice but I’ve gone all in for these LA Philharmonic performances (these are my PEEPS!) and I’m so glad I did. There was a very exuberant little girl in the front row who asked for Gustavo’s autograph before we even started and ofcourse had a question right of the bat. For me it was…..”How do you deal with stage fright? I sing sometimes and I get really nervous” Okay….was this girl sent to me or what?? And I found the words just coming out of my mouth….”Sometimes you have thoughts in your head that cause you to get nervous and you start doubting yourself but you can’t listen to them. It is better to just think about what you are saying and focus on communicating. You have to realize that all those people out there just want you to do well. They are like your biggest fan club.” Meanwhile, I should be holding a mirror up to myself and saying this…..but I definitely heard it.
Then today we did a taping for the HD Broadcast with the kids from YOLA (Youth Orchestra LA). Gustavo spoke and I sang Bernstein’s “A Simple Song” (what a gift that is to sing in itself) and then we had another Q and A. Again, all the questions which so pertained to my life. “What do you do when you get nervous?” “How do you sing with passion and yet remain calm?” “Do you ever think about giving this up to do something else?” All questions that go through my mind….But all of my answers came through me as if said by someone else (I know what JR is thinking!!) And they were divinely inspired. And believe me I heard all of the responses as if I was the one asking the question.
So tonight at Disney Hall with the cameras, with Vanessa Williams interviewing me right before I went onstage, with Ewan McGregor in the hall (hubba hubba). I let go. I just let go. I was sitting there thoroughly enjoying and experiencing this music. And that was all. I wasn’t listening to my demons. And I needed to sing that third movement. A voice came into my head as the 2nd movement ended….”I need to sing….Let me sing….I have to sing” I have never had that happen to me before. Whatever was going to come out I had to be heard….It wasn’t about me it was about the message. Let’s face it folks my voice is tired. This is a trying week. But all I knew was I had to sing. And Gustavo experienced it too. “This was a very special one” he said as I approached the podium for bows.
And he was right….it was because I had no doubt about it…I HAD to sing.
Good Morning all!
It’s the morning after. What a magical performance. I nearly had to pinch myself while I was sitting in the middle of the LA Philharmonic staring directly at Gustavo Dudamel conducting the beautifully inspired music of a 24-year-old Leonard Bernstein. The dialogue running through my mind should have been documented….talk about a wandering stream of consciousness. “Is this really happening? Am I looking out at a full-house behind Gustavo? Why is the water so far away? Can I get the water without looking ridiculous? No…Okay so no water…Is that okay? Wow this viola line is really beautiful. Oh I love this part” and so on. It doesn’t stop….Well not until I hear the end of the 2nd movement and my cue coming up. Then we go into performance mode. Let the music come through me. Let me speak the truth. Let me give. Give Give Give!!! Oh and breathe!
So many things to think about…but I have found it is best when I don’t. Silencing the mind is one of the best tools a singer can have and something that takes constant work. I’m hoping that by the end of this tour I will be a master at it (10 more Jeremiah’s to go!)
I made it though the ITunes broadcast (that’s right no pressure!) and even managed to get some sleep. It was wonderful to see one of my favorite collaborators, Mona Lands, after the performance and have the concertmaster Martin Chalifour take our photos. Hey, that doesn’t happen every day. Thank you for coming Mona and thank you for all of your support of young singers in this community. You have fostered many a career and continue to do so. Much love to you.
My favorite moment in the performance was the silence after the end of the symphony. Gustavo waited 17 seconds before setting down his hands and I have that recorded as proof. After he set down his baton, we made eye contact and had a very understanding moment. We had done it. We had communicated our message. Which is his goal and mine as well. To touch people. To change lives. It almost makes me tear up now to have found a musician who has it so right deep inside. It is very rare. As Jessica says, He is like Coca-Cola…..he’s the real thing.
More to come…
Grammy Award-winning mezzo-soprano Kelley O’Connor will be the LA Phil’s featured guest soloist on Sunday, January 9, when the orchestra inaugurates its new series of live transmissions from Walt Disney Concert Hall to more than 450 movie theaters across the U.S. and Canada. The 30-year-old California native has become a fixture at the LA Phil in the past few seasons, having most recently performed Peter Lieberson’s Neruda Songs with conductor Gustavo Dudamel as part of his inaugural season as Music Director. For the January 9 live transmission, she joins Dudamel and the orchestra as the soloist for Leonard Bernstein’s Symphony No. 1,” Jeremiah,” a work that she will perform on a European tour with the LA Phil and Dudamel later this month. The broadcast, which begins at 5pm EST, will be hosted by singer and actress Vanessa Williams and will feature live behind-the-scenes interviews with both O’Connor and Dudamel.
Visit the LA Phil LIVE site for info on participating theaters and to purchase tickets.
